Jacked Up

The Top 20 songs that will make you jacked up, increase a workout 200%, or make you want to run through a wall – Kool Aid man style.

The criteria for these songs are basically that:
• When you hear the first couple notes, you know what’s up
• By the time the song ends you wonder why you just did the Lights Out Dance
• You know that tomorrow you won’t be able to walk right because the song just willed you (Tebow style) to do something you were not capable of doing before
• You immediately regret your actions (kind of like driving fast when a badass rock song comes on. I know Sammy Hagar can’t drive 55 but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be able to abide by the speed limit either)
• People around you move out of the way when they see you have transformed into a rabid wolverine
• You can imagine a sweet highlight reel playing or you are imagining everything in slow motion, which is equally as awesome

20. The Tryout Song from Rudy – It’s from the montage scene in Rudy where he continually gets pummeled by players at practice and he keeps getting up and wanting more. It’s pretty much the theme of the entire movie and when you are done watching, you simply can not help but hum the tune. Also, for bonus points, you hum it WHILE playing in games yourself and people around you catch on and get fired up, the only song on the list that does that. It’s also the only song that will make grown men cry every time they hear it.
19. Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Theme – This is the ONLY song from wrestling theme music that can break the list of real songs. When you hear the sound of broken glass, you know someone’s about to whip some ass. Too clutch, too legit, too dominating to say the least. If this were 1999 and not 2009, this song would be in the top 10 no questions asked.
18. Rock and Roll pt. 2 – Gary Glitter – I don’t care that he liked naked children, I don’t care that his video library on his computer could have put the national archives to shame, and I don’t care that pretty much every American sports league (high school and college) have banned this song. It’s still one of the most legit songs that lets your opponent know that we’re gonna beat the hell outta you, you, you, you, you…
17. I’m Shipping up to Boston – The Dropkick Murphys – Celtic rock means supreme ass kicking. If you’re Irish you already have an upper hand against anyone in a fight, except the Scottish. This song mixes North American Celtic Rock with European “I’m going to pummel you” flavor and spits out a gem. The Aussie Rugby League adapted this song as it’s theme and they are a half globe away from Boston so that should tell you something…
16. A Boy Brushed Red…Living in Black and White – Underoath – So scream-o rock isn’t your thing. That’s ok, this song still will kick you in the teeth. Who knew a Christian rock band could also appeal to goth kids? If that’s not a sure sign of the Apocalypse then the way this song will make you feel is.
15. Welcome Home – Coheed & Cambria – While this song lasts for about minutes, it grabs you by the horns and doesn’t let go. It’s like working out to the point of exhaustion and then being pushed to go further. It’s a good overtime song to get that second wind into your lungs.
14. Never Gonna Get It – Akon featuring Sean Biggs and Topic – Also known as the song from Fight Night 3. It got old while playing the game but if you listen to it outside of that it’s legit. If nothing else you feel like you could deliver a haymaker to someone and make Joe Tessitore scream “Oh, it looks like it’s lights out”.
13. Tick Tick Boom – The Hives – Here’s the wild card out of the list. Few people have heard the song when NOT in a highlight reel. This song was specifically made for highlights it seems. Do yourself a favor and check it out and workout to it. Guaranteed to add 5 pounds to your max bench.
12. Lose Yourself/’Till I Collapse – Eminem – I’ll give you that Lose Yourself is a cheesy choice but when the song was out it was the ultimate ‘gonna whip some tail’ anthem. ‘Till I Collapse has a great beat and if you’re motivated by word it’s hook is second to none.
11. Pretty Handsome Awkward – The Used – While The Used is an incredible band and they have a lot harder songs, this one still carries its weight. If you saw the first Transformers, it’s the song playing when Shia and Megan Fox get into the car chase when they realize the gravity of their situation. It’s in the Top Ten of any car chase list, it has to be.
10. In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins/Nonpoint – Even Mike Tyson knows what’s up when this song drops. I have more than once been at the gym, nailed the drum solo, and then pushed out an insane set before realizing that tomorrow I won’t be able to walk. Nonpoint came along and made a heavier version for the terrible movie Miami Vice. The song was so good that they played it in it’s entirety for a scene (or the movie was that bad, it’s a push).
9. The Pretender/All My Life – Foo Fighters – Either of these songs will insight a mosh pit or a riot when played at their shows. The ending 30 seconds of All My Life would be perfect for a “greatest hits that caused severe concussions” video on youtube.
8. R U Ready – KoRn – This is the song that when you hear it, you immediately walk away because you know that nothing good is about to happen. It’s like being at a 90’s gangsta party, party, party after 1am – you’re just looking for trouble (or women of the night). I worked at an amphitheater for 4 years and when KoRn played this song, you FELT it. You saw this insane, enraged look on people’s faces. I have been in 3 fights due to this song alone.
7. Hit ‘Em Up/All Eyez on Me – Tupac – If you listen to either of these songs and you don’t gain swagger you are more than likely a middle aged white family who listens to gospel. Just the other day I was talking with my friend (the number one most hated man in online play, Ryan Colston) about what a weird period of time 90’s gangsta rap was. They weren’t moguls expanding their business. They rapped and they lived every ounce of what they rapped. Rappers now are dappered up for award shows, they are fine in public, and they usually cross over into several other ventures. Back in the 90’s they could only rap or be in gangs because they BREATHED that culture.
6. Hate Me Now – Puff Daddy featuring Nas – Great song (with the exception of Puff Daddy’s involvement) that really drives home the point. “You can hate me now/but I won’t stop now” using hate as your motivation, classic. By the time it’s over you are convinced everyone is out to get you. It kind of makes you understand that whole HeHateMe thing…
5. Kickstart My Heart – Motley Crue – By the time the chorus kicks in you have already bashed your head into a locker a la Bill Romanowski.
4. Hells Bells – AC/DC – (the first 1:25 will do) It’s something about those bells. They get you going then the slightly distorted guitar kicks in, BAM. You’ve got yourself a jam.
3.You Alma Mater’s Fight Song – Honestly, this song will make you clap along with 100,000 complete strangers and after you have completed the song your hands are chapped from clapping so hard. Everyone else HATES your song but you will die loving it (ex: Boomer Sooner and Rocky Top).
2.Sirius – Alan Parsons Project – A little biased I’ll admit it but, if you watch any of the Nebraska Tunnel Walk videos, or (if you’re a bandwagon jumper) any of the Chicago Bulls entrances circa 1996-98, and you don’t get feel like you’re ready to get ‘er done then there is something wrong with you. You should probably go study up on the Dewey Decimal System or watch Chocolat.
1. Anything from the Rocky series - Do I really need to explain more? Philly’s got it right, anytime their hometown teams are down they play Gonna Fly Now and by the time the first 30 seconds are over you are enraged out of your mind ready to pound the dude across from you. You immediately put yourself into underdog mode and ready yourself for a fight.
• Gonna Fly Now (Rocky I)
• Eye of the Tiger - Survivor (Rocky III)
• It’s a Fight – Three 6 Mafia (Rocky Balboa) Albeit that it’s Mason ‘The Line’ Dixon’s theme but it has some serious legs to it as a legit stadium anthem all it’s own
• Going the Distance (Rocky I) – Later covered by Puff Daddy entitled Victory. It’s something about the eerie bells that gets you going, it just does.

And if those weren’t enough, here’s the Honorable Mentions (by category):

Must Have Classics:
Welcome to the Jungle – Guns N Roses
Enter Sandman – Metallica
Thunderstruck – AC/DC
Under Pressure – Queen Featuring David Bowie/The Used featuring My Chemical Romance
Search and Destroy – Iggy Pop and the Stooges
Black Betty – Ram Jam
Start Me Up – The Rolling Stones – for kickoff purposes only

Hip Hop:
I’m Me – Lil’ Wayne
Never Scarred – Bone Crusher
Breathe – Prodigy
Calling All Freaks – The Crystal Method
Pop Bottles – Birdman featuring Lil’ Wayne
Patiently Waiting – 50 Cent featuring Eminem
Are You Ready – Hazen Street

Hard Rock:
Box Full of Sharp Objects – The Used
Pure Massacre – Silverchair
Wolves at the Door – Senses Fail
Error: Operator – Taking Back Sunday
Wake Up – Rage Against the Machine

Let Me Explain:
Comin’ To Your City – Big & Rich – just because of College Game Day, especially when your city is hosting the show, that’s it

Wrestling Theme Music Category
I Walk Alone – Saliva
My Time is Now – John Cena
Break It Down (D-X Theme) – Chris Warren Band
To Be Loved – Papa Roach
nWo Theme
This Fire Burns – Killswitch Engage
Some Bodies Gonna Get It – Three 6 Mafia
Metalingus – Alterbridge
The Game – Motorhead
No Chance in Hell – Vince McMahon
The Undertaker