Jacked Up

The Top 20 songs that will make you jacked up, increase a workout 200%, or make you want to run through a wall – Kool Aid man style.

The criteria for these songs are basically that:
• When you hear the first couple notes, you know what’s up
• By the time the song ends you wonder why you just did the Lights Out Dance
• You know that tomorrow you won’t be able to walk right because the song just willed you (Tebow style) to do something you were not capable of doing before
• You immediately regret your actions (kind of like driving fast when a badass rock song comes on. I know Sammy Hagar can’t drive 55 but that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t be able to abide by the speed limit either)
• People around you move out of the way when they see you have transformed into a rabid wolverine
• You can imagine a sweet highlight reel playing or you are imagining everything in slow motion, which is equally as awesome

20. The Tryout Song from Rudy – It’s from the montage scene in Rudy where he continually gets pummeled by players at practice and he keeps getting up and wanting more. It’s pretty much the theme of the entire movie and when you are done watching, you simply can not help but hum the tune. Also, for bonus points, you hum it WHILE playing in games yourself and people around you catch on and get fired up, the only song on the list that does that. It’s also the only song that will make grown men cry every time they hear it.
19. Stone Cold Steve Austin’s Theme – This is the ONLY song from wrestling theme music that can break the list of real songs. When you hear the sound of broken glass, you know someone’s about to whip some ass. Too clutch, too legit, too dominating to say the least. If this were 1999 and not 2009, this song would be in the top 10 no questions asked.
18. Rock and Roll pt. 2 – Gary Glitter – I don’t care that he liked naked children, I don’t care that his video library on his computer could have put the national archives to shame, and I don’t care that pretty much every American sports league (high school and college) have banned this song. It’s still one of the most legit songs that lets your opponent know that we’re gonna beat the hell outta you, you, you, you, you…
17. I’m Shipping up to Boston – The Dropkick Murphys – Celtic rock means supreme ass kicking. If you’re Irish you already have an upper hand against anyone in a fight, except the Scottish. This song mixes North American Celtic Rock with European “I’m going to pummel you” flavor and spits out a gem. The Aussie Rugby League adapted this song as it’s theme and they are a half globe away from Boston so that should tell you something…
16. A Boy Brushed Red…Living in Black and White – Underoath – So scream-o rock isn’t your thing. That’s ok, this song still will kick you in the teeth. Who knew a Christian rock band could also appeal to goth kids? If that’s not a sure sign of the Apocalypse then the way this song will make you feel is.
15. Welcome Home – Coheed & Cambria – While this song lasts for about minutes, it grabs you by the horns and doesn’t let go. It’s like working out to the point of exhaustion and then being pushed to go further. It’s a good overtime song to get that second wind into your lungs.
14. Never Gonna Get It – Akon featuring Sean Biggs and Topic – Also known as the song from Fight Night 3. It got old while playing the game but if you listen to it outside of that it’s legit. If nothing else you feel like you could deliver a haymaker to someone and make Joe Tessitore scream “Oh, it looks like it’s lights out”.
13. Tick Tick Boom – The Hives – Here’s the wild card out of the list. Few people have heard the song when NOT in a highlight reel. This song was specifically made for highlights it seems. Do yourself a favor and check it out and workout to it. Guaranteed to add 5 pounds to your max bench.
12. Lose Yourself/’Till I Collapse – Eminem – I’ll give you that Lose Yourself is a cheesy choice but when the song was out it was the ultimate ‘gonna whip some tail’ anthem. ‘Till I Collapse has a great beat and if you’re motivated by word it’s hook is second to none.
11. Pretty Handsome Awkward – The Used – While The Used is an incredible band and they have a lot harder songs, this one still carries its weight. If you saw the first Transformers, it’s the song playing when Shia and Megan Fox get into the car chase when they realize the gravity of their situation. It’s in the Top Ten of any car chase list, it has to be.
10. In the Air Tonight – Phil Collins/Nonpoint – Even Mike Tyson knows what’s up when this song drops. I have more than once been at the gym, nailed the drum solo, and then pushed out an insane set before realizing that tomorrow I won’t be able to walk. Nonpoint came along and made a heavier version for the terrible movie Miami Vice. The song was so good that they played it in it’s entirety for a scene (or the movie was that bad, it’s a push).
9. The Pretender/All My Life – Foo Fighters – Either of these songs will insight a mosh pit or a riot when played at their shows. The ending 30 seconds of All My Life would be perfect for a “greatest hits that caused severe concussions” video on youtube.
8. R U Ready – KoRn – This is the song that when you hear it, you immediately walk away because you know that nothing good is about to happen. It’s like being at a 90’s gangsta party, party, party after 1am – you’re just looking for trouble (or women of the night). I worked at an amphitheater for 4 years and when KoRn played this song, you FELT it. You saw this insane, enraged look on people’s faces. I have been in 3 fights due to this song alone.
7. Hit ‘Em Up/All Eyez on Me – Tupac – If you listen to either of these songs and you don’t gain swagger you are more than likely a middle aged white family who listens to gospel. Just the other day I was talking with my friend (the number one most hated man in online play, Ryan Colston) about what a weird period of time 90’s gangsta rap was. They weren’t moguls expanding their business. They rapped and they lived every ounce of what they rapped. Rappers now are dappered up for award shows, they are fine in public, and they usually cross over into several other ventures. Back in the 90’s they could only rap or be in gangs because they BREATHED that culture.
6. Hate Me Now – Puff Daddy featuring Nas – Great song (with the exception of Puff Daddy’s involvement) that really drives home the point. “You can hate me now/but I won’t stop now” using hate as your motivation, classic. By the time it’s over you are convinced everyone is out to get you. It kind of makes you understand that whole HeHateMe thing…
5. Kickstart My Heart – Motley Crue – By the time the chorus kicks in you have already bashed your head into a locker a la Bill Romanowski.
4. Hells Bells – AC/DC – (the first 1:25 will do) It’s something about those bells. They get you going then the slightly distorted guitar kicks in, BAM. You’ve got yourself a jam.
3.You Alma Mater’s Fight Song – Honestly, this song will make you clap along with 100,000 complete strangers and after you have completed the song your hands are chapped from clapping so hard. Everyone else HATES your song but you will die loving it (ex: Boomer Sooner and Rocky Top).
2.Sirius – Alan Parsons Project – A little biased I’ll admit it but, if you watch any of the Nebraska Tunnel Walk videos, or (if you’re a bandwagon jumper) any of the Chicago Bulls entrances circa 1996-98, and you don’t get feel like you’re ready to get ‘er done then there is something wrong with you. You should probably go study up on the Dewey Decimal System or watch Chocolat.
1. Anything from the Rocky series - Do I really need to explain more? Philly’s got it right, anytime their hometown teams are down they play Gonna Fly Now and by the time the first 30 seconds are over you are enraged out of your mind ready to pound the dude across from you. You immediately put yourself into underdog mode and ready yourself for a fight.
• Gonna Fly Now (Rocky I)
• Eye of the Tiger - Survivor (Rocky III)
• It’s a Fight – Three 6 Mafia (Rocky Balboa) Albeit that it’s Mason ‘The Line’ Dixon’s theme but it has some serious legs to it as a legit stadium anthem all it’s own
• Going the Distance (Rocky I) – Later covered by Puff Daddy entitled Victory. It’s something about the eerie bells that gets you going, it just does.

And if those weren’t enough, here’s the Honorable Mentions (by category):

Must Have Classics:
Welcome to the Jungle – Guns N Roses
Enter Sandman – Metallica
Thunderstruck – AC/DC
Under Pressure – Queen Featuring David Bowie/The Used featuring My Chemical Romance
Search and Destroy – Iggy Pop and the Stooges
Black Betty – Ram Jam
Start Me Up – The Rolling Stones – for kickoff purposes only

Hip Hop:
I’m Me – Lil’ Wayne
Never Scarred – Bone Crusher
Breathe – Prodigy
Calling All Freaks – The Crystal Method
Pop Bottles – Birdman featuring Lil’ Wayne
Patiently Waiting – 50 Cent featuring Eminem
Are You Ready – Hazen Street

Hard Rock:
Box Full of Sharp Objects – The Used
Pure Massacre – Silverchair
Wolves at the Door – Senses Fail
Error: Operator – Taking Back Sunday
Wake Up – Rage Against the Machine

Let Me Explain:
Comin’ To Your City – Big & Rich – just because of College Game Day, especially when your city is hosting the show, that’s it

Wrestling Theme Music Category
I Walk Alone – Saliva
My Time is Now – John Cena
Break It Down (D-X Theme) – Chris Warren Band
To Be Loved – Papa Roach
nWo Theme
This Fire Burns – Killswitch Engage
Some Bodies Gonna Get It – Three 6 Mafia
Metalingus – Alterbridge
The Game – Motorhead
No Chance in Hell – Vince McMahon
The Undertaker

That Guy 1 and 2

Everyone knows that guy...that guy who in his own mind thinks he is a lot better at something than he is in reality. Him and his close friend, guy who was once really good, but is now washed up but still holding on are some of the worst things about sports today. While guy number 1 is usually someone who was a standout athlete we knew in high school or college, guy number 2 is usually someone that is hall of fame caliber or a perennial Pro-Bowler/All-Star at worst.

Since Brett Favre has brought to light the most recent case of "That Guy" syndrome I figured it would be worth a minute of your time to spend going over some of the guys who have held on too long.

Starting with former/current NFL players, coaches, owners and/or announcers:

1. Jerry Rice - 19 NFL seasons with the 49ers, Raiders, Seahawks and Broncos.
- Should have stayed retired after playing one decent season with the Raiders. But for the sentimentalist in all of us he should have retired as a 49er for real instead of the curtosy retirement signing he got at the end of his career.

2. Al Davis - Raiders owner since 1972.
- Game passed him by long ago. The Raiders haven't been relevant for 15 years, save maybe a two year stretch when they made a fluke appearance in the Super Bowl. Since then he has spent first round draft picks on Fabian Washington, Robert Gallery, Darrius Heyward - Bey, Michael Huff, Sebastian Janikowski and Ricky Dudley. I'll credit him though with Tim Brown, Nnamdi Asomugha, Charles Woodson and Marcus Allen though. Those guys were the best in the game at one time or another. But when Forbes Magazine rates you as the least profitable NFL franchise for the second consecutive year, it may be time to cut your loses and move on (sell the team or at least stop pretending to be GM).

3. Brett Favre - 18 seasons with the Falcons, Packers, Jets and Vikings.
- I understand getting that itch and the need to scratch it, but Favre should have stayed retired after telling the Packers he would retire. At the worst, retiring after last season with the Jets. He was one of my all-time favorite players and is still one of the all-time greats, but his legacy is severely dimished.

4. Mark Brunell - 16 seasons with the Packers, Jaguars, Redskins and Saints.
- Did you know he is still playing? Me neither, but as he toils away in obscurity as Drew Brees' backup, a former Pro-Bowler continues to hold on to past glories.

5. Morten Anderson - 16 seasons with the Saints, Falcons, Chiefs, Giants, Vikings, and the Falcons again.
- Was still effective at age 45+…but only inside 35 yards and on extra points.

NBA Guy #2 Candidates:

1. Scottie Pippen - 21 seasons with the Bulls, Rockets, Blazers, Tropan Pojat (Finland), Sundsvall Dragons (Sweden).
- One of the 50 Greatest NBA players of All-Time is continuing his career not on the bench of an NBA team, but in Europe STILL!

2. Dominique Wilkins - 17 seasons with the Hawks, Clippers, Celtics, Panathinaikos (Greece), Spurs, Fortitudo Bologna (Italy), Magic.
- Finishing what many will call a great career as a journeyman with a couple trips overseas says it all.

3. Sam Cassell - 17 seasons with the Rockets, Suns, Mavs, Nets, Bucks, Timberwolves, Clippers, Celtics.
- When you are looked at to be a coach and haven't yet retired means it may be time to hang em up.

4. Patrick Ewing - 18 seasons with the Knicks, Supersonics, Magic.
- Ending his legendary career trying to catch on with the Magic was heartwrenching to watch.

5. Danny Manning - 15 seasons with the Clippers, Hawks, Suns, Bucks, Jazz, Mavs, Pistons.
- Never really lived up to his potential we saw in college, partly due to injuries and being a Clipper for a time. But still spent an injury ravaged career trying to grab back some of the old college glory days.

I love lists. They are great uses of time...more to come.

A Few Quick Thoughts

As Michael Vick returns to the NFL for his second go-round, we just learned that Plaxico Burress will be the next NFL star to spend some time in the joint. When the dust settles and Plax is released he will be 33 years old (assuming he will serve the minimum 20 months). My hope is that wisdom will take over and he will make better use of his time in prison than Vick…

A time in prison is generally seen as a time to reflect on what put you there and make a decision on whether or not you are going to change or stay on the same course that put you behind bars. From my first impression of Vick at his news conference after joining the Philadelphia Eagles it seems he has made zero use of his vast amounts of free time. How else do you explain this quote from him at his news conference - "For the life of me, I can't understand why I was involved in such pointless activity," Vick said. "Why did I risk so much at the pinnacle of my career?"

A lot of people have speculated what made him do it. Was it his culture growing up, his younger brother Marcus has had legal troubles too? Was it the people around him? Was it a sick, twisted idea of fun? Nobody knows for sure. Including Vick. That is what bothers me about the situation. Not that the Eagles are giving him a shot at redemption. He could make the most of the opportunity and do lots of good for animals and ex-cons in general which I’m all in favor of. But to spend all that time in prison and not have come to grips with why you did what you did, doesn’t lend itself to making many changes in the future.

Don’t think I wouldn’t mention that Brett Favre is returning. Good for him. Bad for the Vikings. This could be a colossal disaster if he doesn’t perform…or better yet, performs like he did the second half of the season in New York. I love Favre, one of the Top-10 players ever in my opinion. This doesn’t diminish his accomplishments, but it does diminish how I and many will perceive the end of his career. Far different than the perception of John Elway who didn’t hang on too long and left on top. Maybe Favre thinks he can play a season or two and go out on top in Minnesota, who knows. But I heard once that everything ends badly, otherwise it wouldn’t end….

Remember When . . .

I’ve been a Husker my entire life, I never had a choice and neither will my kids. I was born in Nebraska where both of my parents were born and raised. When my wife is about to have our kid there is a chance when that water breaks that I will drive up north (don’t worry there will be time) and cross into the Nebraska border just so my kid will be born with scarlet blood.

As far back as I can remember we hung the Nebraska flag every Saturday and watched the games. One of my earliest Husker memories was the 1993 National Championship where we missed the game winning field goal against Free Shoes University. Tommie Frazier was MVP of that game IN A LOSS. The next Christmas I got a Frazier jersey and that meant every following Saturday was Frazier day. I wore the jersey and pretended to be him running around the driveway and throwing the ball (not often though, we didn’t throw the ball up north). Nebraska went back to back the next 2 years pretty much destroying every one in their path on their way to 2 National Championships. Being young and impressionable I thought that Nebraska would always be on top. They made it look easy and were all over the news. When I hit junior high they won another national crown in 1997 (split with Michigan – for political reasons of course, if Dr. Tom hadn’t retired I don’t know if a split would have happened). I still had the same #15 scarlet jersey which still fits to this day because Santa brought a big size.

My grandparents have had season tickets for as long as they’ve been alive. On the 40 yard line behind the Nebraska bench about 30 rows up. Best seats in sports, not even close. I’ve gone to a game about every year since I was a kid and have been very fortunate to do so. When I was about 6 my grandma, mom, brother, and myself made a day trip to Lincoln and snuck on the field and played for awhile (which is documented on a very grainy family video which I show all my friends and get called names for – they just don’t understand it’s awesomeness). One of the games that sticks out in my head was Lawrence Phillips first game back from suspension after beating his girlfriend. They played Iowa State and my mom had gotten tickets. She warned me to not talk to anyone and just look down. There were more women’s rights and domestic violence advocates there that I can even begin to explain (yup, they were still wearing red as it’s still Nebraska after all and I would bet they went and watched the game after their pep rally). They all yelled at us for going to pay to see ‘those monsters’ and heckled my mom for ‘influencing a young man with hating women’. All good stuff but I still loved ‘those monsters’.

Watching Florida now is like a blast from the past. The Gators are led by a quarterback that can beat you with the pass or the run and who also wears #15. Tim Tebow has 2 National Championship rings like Frazier, except for one of Tebow’s was as a backup. Tebow’s Gators can be the first team since the ‘93-95 Huskers to win 2 National Championships in 3 years. Tommie Frazier was MVP of all 3 games (one of those MVP efforts was on the losing end, first time an MVP was crowned from the losing team EVER) and Tebow has an MVP under his belt. Tebow does have the Heisman Trophy to his name and Frazier finished second to Eddie George. It does need to be stated however, that Frazier missed 7 games that season with a blood clot in his leg and had Lawrence Phillips bringing negative publicity to the team.

Statistically, Tebow has an edge on Frazier. In four seasons, Frazier completed 49.5 percent of his passes (232 of 469) for 3,521 yards, 43 touchdowns and 11 interceptions. He rushed 342 times for 1,955 yards (5.7 average) and 36 touchdowns. In three seasons, Tebow has completed 65.8 percent (448 of 681) for 6,390 yards, 67 touchdowns and 11 interceptions. He's rushed 475 times for 2,037 yards (4.3) and 43 touchdowns. Most of his stats are from the previous 2 seasons as he played behind Chris Leak his freshman year.
Touchdown Tommie has a 33-3 record as a starter, including two national championships in three consecutive years playing for the title. Tebow is 22-5 as a starter, with one national title as a starter and a second title as a reserve.
If Tim Tebow and the Florida Gators win the National Championship this year and Tebow wins his second Heisman, Tebow will go down as the most decorated and arguably the best college football player ever and probably deservedly so but watching the Florida Gators brings back memories of my youth as a Huskers fan. Unfortunately the Huskers have fallen on hard times lately as Steve Pederson ran the program into the dirt and botched the firing of Frank Solich, letting Bo Pelini go, and the subsequent hiring of Bill Callahan. Nebraska will eventually be back as a national power in time, give it time. Florida grows its own hometown prospects in its backyard and with Urban Meyer at the helm; Florida will be able to keep them in house. September 5th, college football will reign supreme in the sports nation’s eyes and yes, I will probably sport the #15 scarlet and cream for another season…Hail Varsity.

Campaign to Bring Back the Nickname

Scott: Where? Where has the creativity gone? For whatever reason, it seems that most athletes these days and the individuals that cover them have lost any sense of creativity that their predecessors thrived on. Aside from Shaquille O’Neal and the annoying Chris Berman, the days of great nicknames have long since past. Gone are the likes of Walter “Sweetness” Payton, Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, Fred “The Crime Dog” McGriff, Dick “Night Train” Lane, Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon, Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, Pete “Charlie Hustle” Rose, Daryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins and many more. In are Kobe “Black Mamba” Bryant, Dwight “Superman” Howard, Kevin “The Big Ticket” Garnett, Alex “A-Rod” Rodriquez, Chris “CP3” Paul and Baron “B Diddy” Davis.

Way too many current athletes have lost such a grip on what is creative that they can’t come up with anything greater for a nickname than using the first letter of their first name and the first syllable of their last name (See “A-Rod”, “K-Rod”, “D-Will”, "T-Mac" etc). I will however give credit where credit is due with current nicknames Lebron “King” James, Chris “Birdman” Anderson, Shaq “The Big Shaqtus” O’Neal, Amare “STAT” Stoudemire, David “Big Papi” Ortiz, Shawn “The Matrix” Marion and Randy “Big Unit” Johnson. But aside from that how many great nicknames are out there? And don’t tell me that Chad “OchoCinco” is a great nickname. OchoCinco isn’t even Spanish for eighty-five.

In a time where it is “cool” to be anti-mainstream it has become almost cliché to be anti-ESPN, anti-CNN or anything that has taken a hold of mainstream culture and ran with it. Remember the days when you really loved that band (Green Day or Blink 182 for example) and then once they blew up you accused them of selling out? In an effort to look tough, cool or whatever, people are keeping from going out on a limb. In reality it doesn’t make you look any smarter, sexier or cooler, it makes you look dumb, lacking confidence (or way too over confident in some cases) and unoriginal.

So in an effort to bring back the great days of “The Sultan of Swat” Babe Ruth, Willie “Hit’em Where They Ain’t” Keeler, “The Dunkin Dutchman” Rik Smits, Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Reggie “The Minister of Defense” White, “Slingin” Sammy Baugh and friends, I want to start a “Campaign to Bring Back the Nickname”.

Since one person cannot successfully nickname everyone at once (as proven by Chris Berman) we must be diligent in our efforts during this methodical process by using the following guidelines to determining a nickname:

- Stature of the athlete (Is he a Lebron James or a Jerome James. Nicknames cannot be given to the third string QB on the Buffalo Bills or the 12th man on the Grizzlies)
- Significance of the athlete, sport and/or moment (Is he a top athlete in a major sport? Sorry guys, soccer, golf, tennis and NASCAR don’t qualify. Nicknames that surface during a moment of historical significance are even greater.)
- History of the athlete (Does he have a signature move, persona, etc?)
- Name recognition (goes with the stature of the athlete, but nicknames must have some relation the athlete’s name, sport, or style of play.)

As always, this list will be up for interpretation, but I have included a list of my All-Time favorite nicknames in the three major sports. Good luck and remember, “Bring Back the Nickname”!



NBA
Jerry “The Logo”/”Mr Clutch” West
Shaq “The Big Shaqtus”/”Diesel”/”Superman”/”The Big Aristotle” O’Neal
Earl “The Pearl” Monroe
“Pistol” Pete Maravich
George “Iceman” Gervin
Lloyd “World” B. Free
Daryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins
“The Hick from French Lick” Larry Bird
“The Worm” Dennis Rodman
Clyde “The Glide” Drexler
Cedric “Cornbread” Maxwell
Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon
Michael “Air” Jordan
Dominique “The Human Highlight Film” Wilkins
Vinny “The Microwave” Johnson
Karl “The Mailman” Malone
“The Answer” Allen Iverson
“The Glove” Gary Payton
Shawn “The Matrix” Marion
Rafer Alston “Skip to my Lou”
Andrei Kirilenko “AK47”
“The Big Dipper” Wilt Chamberlain
“The Dunkin Dutchman” Rik Smits


MLB
“The Sultan of Swat” Babe Ruth
“The Splendid Splinter” Ted Williams
Willie “Hit em Where They Ain’t” Keeler
“Hammerin” Hank Aaron
“The Big Unit” Randy Johnson
“Charlie Hustle” Pete Rose
“The Georgia Peach” Ty Cobb
“The Say Hey Kid” Willie Mays
“Shoeless” Joe Jackson
“Oil Can” Dennis Boyd
“The Crime Dog” Fred McGriff
“The Big Hurt” Frank Thomas
“Iron Horse” Lou Gehrig

NFL
“Broadway” Joe Namath
“Sweetness” Walter Payton
Lester “The Molester” Hayes
“Mean” Joe Greene
Andre “Bad Moon” Rison
Lou “The Toe” Groza
“Prime Time” Deion Sanders
Dick “Night Train” Lane
Elbert “Icky” Woods
“Slingin” Sammy Baugh
“The Refrigerator” William Perry
Ed “Too Tall” Jones
“He Hate Me” Rod Smart
Jevon “The Freak” Kearse
“The Minister of Defense” Reggie White
“Galloping Ghost” Red Grange
“The Nigerian Nightmare” Christian Okoye
Dick “Night Train” Lane

First Family of Sports

Scott: In the spirit of Kanye West designating himself as the “King of Pop” now that Michael Jackson has past, I would like to keep with the trend of designating fictional positions to people who may or may not deserve them. We already have two very worthy members inducted into “The Rebuilding Project Hall of Fame”, now it is time to provide some leadership to the selection process.

During a recent interview Shaq mentioned how is teenage son is going to be the second coming of Dwight Howard. As crazy as that sounds, there is a fairly recognizable trend of either sons or younger brothers following in their elder family member’s footsteps. This got me thinking though, who is the first family of sports all-time? They could eventually be elevated to the chairmen of the board of the TRB HOF and sit at the head of the table during all future inductee meetings.

Is it the Barry family of the NBA with Hall of Famer Rick Barry and his sons Jon, Brent, Drew and Scooter? All of them have professional experience with three members of the family being first round draft picks. Check this out for more stats.

Is it the Manning family of the NFL with father Archie Manning and sons Eli and Peyton? While Archie struggled through a career mainly with the New Orleans Saints, Eli and Peyton each have won Super Bowls (Eli won the year after Peyton). Both Eli and Peyton were the top overall picks in the NFL draft and Peyton is a sure-fire Hall of Famer.

Is it the Griffey family of MLB with Ken Sr. and son Ken Jr.? Jr has had an injury ravaged, but still a Hall of Fame caliber career (and may remain as the only superstar in baseball that no one suspected of steroids...for better or worse) and Sr. had his high points too, winning an MVP and being inducted into the Cincinnati Reds Hall of Fame.

Here is a list of some other families who have had stellar careers or are currently enjoying much professional success:

Alou: Moises, Felipe, Matty, Jesus
Barber: Tiki, Ronde
Bonds: Bobby, Barry
Boone: Bob, Bret, Aaron
Curry: Dell, Stephen, Seth
Earnhart: Dale Sr, Dale Jr
Federov: Sergei, Fedor
Fielder: Cecil, Prince
Gwynn: Tony Sr, Tony Jr.
Hull: Bobby, Brett
Long: Howie, Chris
Matthews: Bruce, Clay
Molina: Benji, Yadir, another one…
Payton: Walter, Jarrett
Ripken: Sr, Jr, Billy
Simms: Phil, Chris
Sutter: Brian, Daryl, Duane, Rich, Ron and Brent
Upton Family: BJ, Justin
Vick: Michael, Marcus, Aaron Brooks (cousin)
Winslow: Kellen Sr., Kellen Jr.
Wilkins: Dominique, Gerald

What about a scenario where you could pick your siblings or parents based on their last name? For example:

Larry Johnson (NFL – Kansas City), Larry Johnson (Ex NBA – New York/Charlotte), Magic Johnson, Joe Johnson (NBA – Atlanta), Chad Johnson (Ochocinco), Derrick Johnson (NFL – Kansas City), Andre Johnson (NFL – Houston), Calvin Johnson (NFL – Detroit), Randy Johnson (MLB – San Francisco).

Steve Smith (NFL – Carolina), Emmit Smith, Joe Smith (NBA – Cleveland), Andre Smith (NFL – Bengals), Steve Smith (Ex NBA – Atlanta), Alex Smith (NFL – San Francisco), Josh Smith (NBA – Atlanta).

Ted Williams (MLB – Boston), Deron Williams (NBA – Utah), Deangelo Williams (NFL – Carolina), Mario Williams (NFL – Houston), Bernie Williams (MLB – New York Yankees).

Which family possesses the greatest namesake ever? Just a something to ponder….

The Top 20 People You Don’t Want to Play

Football Version

Cody: Yup, it’s football season. Sure there is 3 months left in baseball but let’s be honest – once football training camps start up its football season. This means two things: 1. It’s football season so your girlfriend takes a backseat for the next few months 2. It’s also NCAA Football/Madden video game season. While this brings me immense joy and excitement every year there are a few shortfalls. Last year for the first time, I started playing online games to see where I stack up against people other than my friends. While it was an absolute blast to play against friends your buddy from down the street for bragging rights, it’s not so much fun to play against these 20 people:

20. The Over-Complimentary Opponent – Dude, I know I just made a 6-yard gain but please -you don’t need to let me know how good of a job Brandon Albert did with sealing off his guy. This guy will compliment just about every positive play made along with making his Madden-esque breakdown of why the play developed since you can’t do replays in online games.

19. “Oh, Man” Man - This gamer will say literally the same thing after every single play that goes the opposite way. He sounds like a Pat Summerall broken record circa 1999-2003 (“Flag on the play….flag on the play”).

18. The 10 Year Old – Nothing gives me more pleasure than really sending a 10 year old to bed upset because he just got educated in the ways of football, but the ones that complain about every call and the ones that quit once the ball bounces the other way really grind my gears.

17. Mike Leech – This guy doesn’t really bother me as much at all but others have complaints about him. He’s the one that drops back and passes for 50 times in a game. Kudos if you can make it work for you. The one thing that is frustrating is when he does do his 3 run plays that game – they all go for over 30 yards – yup, that’s frustrating.

16. Barry Sanders – This is the guy that will beat you absolutely senseless and he will never showboat or say a dang thing. He’s been there before and is a consummate professional. Why does he bother me? You can’t even rattle him with trash-talking – he’s just that good. C’mon man, just say something!

15. Stack the Right Side Guy – Self explanatory, he stacks the right side of the line and ever since you were able to audible at the line, he has been defeated.

14. Re-Arrange Guy – This guy will re-arrange his entire line-up several times a game. This isn’t baseball; you don’t play Madden for chess matches. Change your defense, stop running zone and buck up. So your quarterback threw 2 picks, do you really need the carousel to start in the second quarter?

13. 4 Plays Steve – This guy will run the same 4 plays over and over again hoping the success rate will rise with each play. Well, it doesn’t. The PA Boot Rollout doesn’t work this game Bud, I know you’re not handing off.

12. Darth Vader - He usually sounds like he has an upper respiratory problem in which he breathes heavily (if not unhealthfully) in to the mic. Something about Madden really gets this guy off (thank you, thank you I’ll be here all week!). He’s also the silent type as he won’t say anything the whole game except for the breathing. You half expect him to say “I am your father” once or twice to see if you laugh.

11. Post Route…Again – This guy takes the fastest receiver in the game and just has him run post routes…ALL DAY. This is also the type of gamer that will miraculously pull off the converted 4th and 35 after being sacked 3 times waiting for the post guy to get open.

10. Bo Jackson circa Tecmo Super Bowl – He just scampered 70 yards for a touchdo…wait…no…he stopped at the 1. He just turned around and decided to duck, dodge, dip, duck, and dodge the 11 defenders that have followed him to the goal line. Why don’t I stop him? Because my controller was thrown down once the last block was sealed. I refuse to waste energy on a race I can’t win. I Randy Moss it after he beats the safety.

9. Mr. Use it All – This guy will use every second of the play clock every time. No question about it, he treats Madden like he’s really in the game. Maybe it’s the headset that gets him confused. This is not a control the clock situation, it’s a game homie.

8. 1? No, 2 – This guy only goes for two no matter the circumstance. I have found that these people will line up for the extra point and then fake it as a last resort. Why is it these gamers have a 68% Did Not Finish rating? Hmmmm…

7. The Mystery Man – This gamer only appears to talk after he is up a touchdown. He turns off his headset as soon as the score is even or he gets behind.

6. F-Bomb Bomber – His commas are replaced by F-bombs. The game rating may change due to online interactions you say? Well, it’s because this lusty teenager cusses (expletive) screams (expletive) and uses more curses to describe the play (I told you he dropped the use of commas in favor for F’s) – “Hey man, did you **** see that *** catch? **** right, man!”

5. The “Down by Two Scores, But I’ll Offer a Friendly Quit” Guy – Not a chance young man, especially if you don’t have a headset to tell me why. If you have to do a friendly quit because your mother just dropped dead in the next room I suppose I’ll allow it. But because you’re down by 14? Yup, now I’m going for the jugular.

4. The Guy Who Replaces the QB With the Fastest Guy On the Team – Do I really have to say more? Ok, we get it; you’re going to run the option. You’re going to run around in the pocket for a full-fledged minute pretending you’re going to throw before you just run the ball anyway. I’m annoyed just thinking about this guy.

3. Mr. Freeze – The guy that pauses the game 5 times each half for absolutely no reason. He also doesn’t wear a headset either so he’s like Chazz Rineholt’s mom in Wedding Crashers; you never know what he’s doing in there.

2. The “Whoever was the Last National Champion is my Team” Guy – They won the crown for a reason. They also had bandwagons fans like you clinging onto them like the last chopper out of ‘Nam. 90% of people playing are Florida (it’s a stat look it up) mainly because they have Tebow (I’m sorry QB #15, Sam Keller don’t worry, it’s not really Tebow), who actually has done some extra-curricular activities (I was completely unaware of this, I wish FOX had brought it to my attention during the National Championship), that can run AND throw (despite what the scouts say – check out NCAA Football 10 and tell me he can’t throw). This guy encompasses several on the Top 20.

1. The Ryan Colston Offense – Let me preface this by saying Ryan Colston was my roommate for two years in college. Our first year in college we played 15 seasons of Madden and there literally was no players left that were real from NCAA that were able to be imported and the real NFL players had all retired. We outlasted reality. Our group of friends had been playing Madden seriously for years and we knew each other’s game plans to a T. However, Ryan was the one that everyone hated to play. He combined several members of the top 20 to earn the coveted Number One spot. Ryan’s game plan was predictable and beatable but he perfected his craft (crap) to where it became an art form. His strategy was as follows: He always had the fastest quarterback in the game, he always darted backwards 20 yards after the snap and dodged lineman for about 40 minutes then made his way towards the line of scrimmage where he would throw a 70 yard bomb (or scramble never intending to throw – see #4) off of his back foot (perfect spiral no less) to a receiver who was triple covered who was running a post pattern. You could tip the ball, his receiver would catch it. You could sack him but the ball would always leave his hand as he was parallel to the ground. Every time we played it was for a trophy we hung in our apartment and I think the all-time series was like 167-4 (chalk a few up for Mr. Kennedy) and we had some very close games but every time a game was on the horizon I was immediately perturbed to face this evil foe. The last thing I will say about it was that he NEVER quit a game. I once beat him 66-9 and I didn’t even give him the satisfaction of getting a touchdown. He once was late for his first Valentine’s date with his future fiancé because of a classic Nebraska – K-State showdown, a game in which he lost due to a Flutie-type Hail Mary. Ask his fiancé, it ruined the mood but he was a warrior in the end.

TRB HOF 2009 Inaugural Class Nominee #2 - Andre Rison

Scott: Great nomination Cody! Barry Bremen is a fine representative for the inaugural class of “The Rebuilding Project Hall of Fame”. While there is no clearly defined criteria for gaining entry to “The Rebuilding Project Hall of Fame” (not unlike the NFL, MLB or NFL….but I digress), shenaniganry is obviously an overriding factor into one gaining an invitation. Thus, I nominate Andre “Spiderman/Bad Moon” Rison.

"Best receiver to ever play the game. I can’t show my highlights because I don’t own NFL Films."

Do I need say more than the guy had his house burned down by his girlfriend (Lisa “Left-Eye” Lopes of TLC no less!) for his shenaniganry. (Yes, I will send an entry to Webster’s for the word Shenaniganry to be placed into the dictionary…but to save you the time it is defined as one who is a repeat offender of constant shenanigans.)

No one disputes what Rison was – an athletic and sure-handed receiver in his prime which resulted in 5 Pro Bowls and a superb Super Bowl performance with the Green Bay Packers in 1996. What can be disputed (with anyone but Rison) is his rank among the all-time NFL great receivers. This quote about his legacy from an interview with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution serves as another qualification for entry to the TRB HOF…an over-inflated sense of accomplishment.

“Best receiver to ever play the game. I can’t show my highlights because I don’t own NFL Films, but all my coaches in college, in high school, in junior college, they all told me I could be the best. But they must’ve lied because that title was already given to Jerry Rice. Just because you have stats doesn’t mean you’re the best. Can’t nobody tell me that Andre Reed isn’t better than Jerry Rice. I’m seeing cornerbacks on the 75th anniversary team that I used to demolish. But I’m coming out with my own hall of fame.”

Here is a list of teams that the self-proclaimed best receiver ever played for, and didn’t fully appreciate his skills: Indianapolis Colts, Atlanta Falcons, Cleveland Browns, Green Bay Packers, Jacksonville Jaguars, Kansas City Chiefs, Oakland Raiders, and the Canadian Football League's Toronto Argonauts. (He did lead the Argonauts to a Grey Cup Championship (the only championship of his career) so there’s that. Good for him. That’s 1 more championship than Dan Marino, Barry Sanders and Fran Tarkenton combined.)

Don’t forget he was a Pro on SpikeTV’s “Pros vs Joes”.

Though he has had his problems such as his house being burnt down, being jailed three times for offenses ranging from failure to pay child support ($130k’s worth) to public intoxication on San Antonio’s Riverwalk; Rison is being an honest and good contributor to society. In fact, Rison wants to pursue a career in coaching.

“I coached a little bit in my hometown, Flint, Mich.,” Rison said. “I felt like I was a coach when I was a player. When you’re the go-to guy, you end up being a player-coach anyway. I get a kick out of a seeing a kid who has no clue and then, after 72 hours with me, they have all the clues in the world.”

With the nomination of Rison, paired with Barry Bremen, we now have one guy who constantly tries to be someone else and another guy who thinks he is someone else. This is great! Can we find someone who actually turned into someone else in a Rupalesque manner or something of the like?

I’ll leave you with this quote from Rison when asked what he preaches to his players, no explanation is required. Just enjoy it.

“Don’t be a follower. President Clinton did some things wrong with that whole adultery thing. Martha Stewart did some things wrong. Kobe Bryant did some things wrong. They all made mistakes here and there, and I relate that to them.”

(Editors Note: Rison had a distinguished career by many accounts. He caught 743 passes for 10,205 yards and 84 TDs plus a 54-yard score that sparked Green Bay’s Super Bowl win over New England; he went to five Pro Bowls and was the Chiefs’ MVP for a 13-3 team in 1997.)