Campaign to Bring Back the Nickname

Scott: Where? Where has the creativity gone? For whatever reason, it seems that most athletes these days and the individuals that cover them have lost any sense of creativity that their predecessors thrived on. Aside from Shaquille O’Neal and the annoying Chris Berman, the days of great nicknames have long since past. Gone are the likes of Walter “Sweetness” Payton, Earl “The Pearl” Monroe, Fred “The Crime Dog” McGriff, Dick “Night Train” Lane, Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon, Christian “The Nigerian Nightmare” Okoye, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, Pete “Charlie Hustle” Rose, Daryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins and many more. In are Kobe “Black Mamba” Bryant, Dwight “Superman” Howard, Kevin “The Big Ticket” Garnett, Alex “A-Rod” Rodriquez, Chris “CP3” Paul and Baron “B Diddy” Davis.

Way too many current athletes have lost such a grip on what is creative that they can’t come up with anything greater for a nickname than using the first letter of their first name and the first syllable of their last name (See “A-Rod”, “K-Rod”, “D-Will”, "T-Mac" etc). I will however give credit where credit is due with current nicknames Lebron “King” James, Chris “Birdman” Anderson, Shaq “The Big Shaqtus” O’Neal, Amare “STAT” Stoudemire, David “Big Papi” Ortiz, Shawn “The Matrix” Marion and Randy “Big Unit” Johnson. But aside from that how many great nicknames are out there? And don’t tell me that Chad “OchoCinco” is a great nickname. OchoCinco isn’t even Spanish for eighty-five.

In a time where it is “cool” to be anti-mainstream it has become almost cliché to be anti-ESPN, anti-CNN or anything that has taken a hold of mainstream culture and ran with it. Remember the days when you really loved that band (Green Day or Blink 182 for example) and then once they blew up you accused them of selling out? In an effort to look tough, cool or whatever, people are keeping from going out on a limb. In reality it doesn’t make you look any smarter, sexier or cooler, it makes you look dumb, lacking confidence (or way too over confident in some cases) and unoriginal.

So in an effort to bring back the great days of “The Sultan of Swat” Babe Ruth, Willie “Hit’em Where They Ain’t” Keeler, “The Dunkin Dutchman” Rik Smits, Ed “Too Tall” Jones, Reggie “The Minister of Defense” White, “Slingin” Sammy Baugh and friends, I want to start a “Campaign to Bring Back the Nickname”.

Since one person cannot successfully nickname everyone at once (as proven by Chris Berman) we must be diligent in our efforts during this methodical process by using the following guidelines to determining a nickname:

- Stature of the athlete (Is he a Lebron James or a Jerome James. Nicknames cannot be given to the third string QB on the Buffalo Bills or the 12th man on the Grizzlies)
- Significance of the athlete, sport and/or moment (Is he a top athlete in a major sport? Sorry guys, soccer, golf, tennis and NASCAR don’t qualify. Nicknames that surface during a moment of historical significance are even greater.)
- History of the athlete (Does he have a signature move, persona, etc?)
- Name recognition (goes with the stature of the athlete, but nicknames must have some relation the athlete’s name, sport, or style of play.)

As always, this list will be up for interpretation, but I have included a list of my All-Time favorite nicknames in the three major sports. Good luck and remember, “Bring Back the Nickname”!



NBA
Jerry “The Logo”/”Mr Clutch” West
Shaq “The Big Shaqtus”/”Diesel”/”Superman”/”The Big Aristotle” O’Neal
Earl “The Pearl” Monroe
“Pistol” Pete Maravich
George “Iceman” Gervin
Lloyd “World” B. Free
Daryl “Chocolate Thunder” Dawkins
“The Hick from French Lick” Larry Bird
“The Worm” Dennis Rodman
Clyde “The Glide” Drexler
Cedric “Cornbread” Maxwell
Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon
Michael “Air” Jordan
Dominique “The Human Highlight Film” Wilkins
Vinny “The Microwave” Johnson
Karl “The Mailman” Malone
“The Answer” Allen Iverson
“The Glove” Gary Payton
Shawn “The Matrix” Marion
Rafer Alston “Skip to my Lou”
Andrei Kirilenko “AK47”
“The Big Dipper” Wilt Chamberlain
“The Dunkin Dutchman” Rik Smits


MLB
“The Sultan of Swat” Babe Ruth
“The Splendid Splinter” Ted Williams
Willie “Hit em Where They Ain’t” Keeler
“Hammerin” Hank Aaron
“The Big Unit” Randy Johnson
“Charlie Hustle” Pete Rose
“The Georgia Peach” Ty Cobb
“The Say Hey Kid” Willie Mays
“Shoeless” Joe Jackson
“Oil Can” Dennis Boyd
“The Crime Dog” Fred McGriff
“The Big Hurt” Frank Thomas
“Iron Horse” Lou Gehrig

NFL
“Broadway” Joe Namath
“Sweetness” Walter Payton
Lester “The Molester” Hayes
“Mean” Joe Greene
Andre “Bad Moon” Rison
Lou “The Toe” Groza
“Prime Time” Deion Sanders
Dick “Night Train” Lane
Elbert “Icky” Woods
“Slingin” Sammy Baugh
“The Refrigerator” William Perry
Ed “Too Tall” Jones
“He Hate Me” Rod Smart
Jevon “The Freak” Kearse
“The Minister of Defense” Reggie White
“Galloping Ghost” Red Grange
“The Nigerian Nightmare” Christian Okoye
Dick “Night Train” Lane